"We" are "pleased" to..

Email from [company I have investment with]:

  We are pleased to let you know that there is a new document for you to review

Translation,

the corporate machine sent this to you to mitigate it’s risk of being sued by you and fined by government regulators for not doing so. There is no “we” in the personal sense. And no human being is “pleased” by this. Emails like this are a debasement of perfectly good words describing human interaction at best and disingenuous, self-serving, collectivist, lies at worst.

#27 of #100DaysToOffload take 2, https://100daystooffload.com/